that was then, this is now

so so so, where to start? okay, first of all, i apologize for not having written a blog for a while (before my last one, that is) my life has been kinda crazy this past month, what with trying to catch up on school work, stupid immature seventh graders, at times somewhat overreacting parents and so on. what i just want to talk about really quick is, well change i suppose.

sometime earlier this month i read a book titled "that was then, this is now" by s.e. hinton. its an amazing book, maybe even more so than the outsiders. it just talks about these two boys' lifes, and halfway or so through the book they start talking to eachother. how a while ago the girl one of them was going with used to be his main focus in life. he always needed to be talking to her over the phone, or being around her, or looking forward to the next time he would see her. she was his life. and how now, he could really care less what she was doing, who she was after, or going with. *coughmecough* how they used to love getting in fights, and hotwiring cars and other such things. basically it just talked about how things that used to be their main priority in life they now hardly ever thought about, and then they step back and realize... wow, was that really that long ago? has that much time really passed? thats what was kind of going through my head when i was reading it. and i started making little comparisons of my own in my life. it was then that i started to realize not only how much i've changed, but how much everyone else has changed around me. most of them for the good, but not all.

change is a good thing, i have decided. i used to be super shy, i used to have really long hair, i used to hate wearing shorts, i used to be more naive than i am now lol, i used to never really think about things as much as i do now, i used to hate writing, i used to think i could cook, i used to be bothered by little things easily, i used to be good at swimming, i used to kind of like utah, i used to have one gig of memory on my iPod, i used to not know how to put on makeup very well, i used to never look at the stars, i used to hate scary movies, i used to think summer would never come, i used to never listen to techno music, i used to not know how to play guitar, i used to not be open to new things,my life used to revolve around a certain person, whereas now he hasn't even crossed my mind for a long time; because that was then, this is now. just that phrase seems so eye opening and epic. i love it.

also, how many new people i've met just by going to timberline the last few months. how many friends i've made, how much closer i've gotten to the friends i already had there. how i've realized that if you really just open up and be yourself around people, that more often than not they will like you for you. i've realized that some kids will never learn due to the fact that they are just that oblivious to the world around them. i've realized that sleep is a good thing, but that it makes life more interesting to be on no sleep, especially when you go and drink caffeine while one is on no sleep. i've realized that your attitude really does make a difference. i've realized that i cannot drive worth a crap (good thing i have all summer to have someone teach me), i've realized that it doesn't take much to have a good time, i've realized that life just loves to throw one stress on you right after you've just worked so hard to get rid of the first one, i've realized that innerpartysystem, death cab for cutie, paramore, my chemical romance, muse, tegan and sara, blaqk audio and scary kids scaring kids will always be amazing. i've realized that change is a good thing.