waves of memories

Its crazy to think that last week at this time i was driving home from arizona, because it seems like that was forever ago. Going back was.. well lots of different things. We hadn't been back since we moved up to utah, two and a half years ago. I could still remember most everything pretty clearly. When we got into anthem, arizona, it was night time, around nine or ten. Anthem is where we lived, fifteen minutes north of phoenix. The second we were driving down the beautiful road to anthem lined with palo verde and mesquite trees, and cactus, with the big waterfall that says welcome to anthem, a wave of emotions and memories hit me all at once. I could remember every time we had ever driven down that road coming back from a trip, whether it had been a few hours or a few days. It felt so surreal, like a dream, especially since it was night time, and i was still kind of groggy. We drove by our old house, which was both sorrowful and wonderful to see again. Then after we went to the old safeway just down the street. It was a pretty warm, clear night so you could see the stars. I thought to myself, are these really the same stars cosette and i would watch, laying in the middle of my street in utah? I wanted to lay on the car and sit there and watch them for hours, but of course my parents wouldn't go along with that, so i didn't even bother asking, already knowing what the answer would be. I remember thinking the next day, when we went back to anthem, and were eating taco bell at the park sitting on the grass, watching the sunset, that i wanted to stay there forever, and that everything seemed so welcoming amd happy and warm there. And i wanted so badly at that moment to be able to live like that, to just lay out in the sun every day, and be tan, and not worry about getting caught in the snow, or about needing to wear snowboots or not, or wishing it was warmer. Then i remembered all my friends in utah, and all we had been through together, how much we had watch each other grow, even just in this past year. So i changed my day dream to where we were all living in arizona, in anthem, walking distance from each other, and from all the other stores and shops and restaurants there. And how we would be able to ask for a ride to one place, and stay there forever never getting bored, just walking around to all the other places near there, just cuz theres so much to do in arizona. And how when we got a little older and had a license, we could drive up to the motsuri festival for example, and spend the day there. How i wished all this could come true, my day dream. But, of course, like most things that seem too good to be true, it would be. We spent the rest of that night walking around the outlets at anthem, this outdoor mall. Again, this place held so many memories, and good times. You know, i think its funny how something as small and seemingly insignificant as a tree, or a certain smell can hold such a strong lasting memory.

Quote that (kind of) goes with this: "oh somewhere deep inside of these bones, an emptiness began to grow, there's something out there far from my home, a longing that i've never known" -nightmare before christmas