Ticking clocks... they never stop, do they?

We never know how much time we have left, do we? We only have one shot at this whole thing called life. Then what? There are so many different theories. But what about right now, this very moment, that you are sitting here reading this? When we pass away, and go to wherever it is that we go, will we get to watch a run through of our lives, except this time from a new perspective, maybe be able to see all sides of the story, what was really going on? What, at the time may have seemed like we'd never get through it, seemed so deep, and endless, and, yet was there and gone so seemingly quickly? And, perhaps, will we be able to know and feel what everyone else in that problem/situation/instance was thinking and feeling? That would be pretty.. well, crazy if we could, to know exactly how they felt. In a way, it might be kind of cool, to be able to realize all the peoples lives around us whom we've touched and made a difference in, now matter how small. These are questions i've been thinking about myself, but can only guess at the answers to. I remember when i was little, and my little sister was in the hospital with pneumonia. And one night i got to thinking about the concept of eternity, and how long that would be. Second after minute after hour after day after week after month after year after decade after century... Quite honestly, it kind of scared me.. There's a quote in a book called stranger with my face that talks about this. Its stuck with me ever since the first time i read it. It says something like "If there were a mountain of granite a thousand feet high, and every thousand years a bird flew by and brushed it with its wing, when that mountain was finally eroded, only a fraction of a second will have passed in the context of eternity." Pretty crazy, huh?

I used to always be looking forward to something that was in a few days, maybe a few weeks, and just trying to get through everything else in a rush, then when it came to whatever it may have been i was looking forward to, it was over too fast, just like everything else had been. And then, before i knew it, more than half the year had passed by, and i could only remember a few days/times/call them whatever you like, mostly outside of school. But then again, i know some people have the tendency to block painful, uneccessary memories from their minds, but still, it felt like time had flown. I thought time only flew when you were having fun? What the damn hell, i thought, i mean seriously. And then, of what i could remember, i didn't feel like I had actually been there. It freaked me out a little, i didn't know where all that time had gone. It didn't feel like it could've been that long at all.

I remember reading this book with cosette a while back, and it talked about this little boy who didn't know what to do with all his "time"(then it goes into this description of him packing up his heavy decades, his slightly smaller years, his months, his weeks, the small days, the hours, the minutes, and the tiny seconds, it described them as being "boxlike"), so he decided to pack it up in his suitcase so it wouldn't get away, and travel around the world, till he found something important to him that he wanted to spend it all on. He left all his friends, family etc behind. Basically what happens, is after many years the little boy returns home, only he's not a little boy anymore, he's an old man. And he finally realizes that what he's been searching for his whole life, he had right in front of him. He opens his suitcase, which had been so heavy with all the time when he first packed it up, has only a few weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds left. And so he decides to spend the rest of his time, which isn't much, surrounded by the people he loves and cares about.

So just more recently i've come to realize we need to live in the present, yet still be aware of our past, as well as our future. We need to live in the now, because we only have one life. One chance to do you what you want to do, one chance to be who you want to be. Live and love life to the fullest. Make good memories with your friends, things you're happy to look back on, and reminisce in a week, a month, a year. Because, we never know how much time we have left, there's no way to tell or predict. Yeah, some people claim they can tell your future with a deck of cards and whatnot, but in the end it comes down to what you chose to do/not do. We all make mistakes, no ones perfect, we can only do our best, and give it our all.
So, in closing, here are some quotes about time/life in general. Well, night everyone!

natures first green is gold,
her hardest hue to hold.
her early leafs a flower,
but only so an hour.
then leaf subsides to leaf,
so eden sank to grief,
so dawn goes down today,
nothing gold can stay.
-the outsiders (robert frost)

love life, and life will love you back;
love people, and people will love you back.
-arthur rubenstein

years teach us things that days can't see
-hayleighs mirror (lol)

take some time and learn to breathe
and remember what it means
to feel alive, and to believe
-Sixx A.M.

love the life you live,
live the life you love
-Bob Marley

everybody sing like its the last
song you will ever sing;
everybody live like its the last
day you will ever see
-Paramore

dream like you'll live forever,
live like you'll die tomorrow
-a wise fortune cookie ;]