Sunday, August 14, 2011

i think i finally know...

For the longest time, whenever someone would ask "what do you want to be when you grow up?" I never really knew the answer. I mean, I kind of had ideas. But none of them felt right, you know? Like it was really something I could see myself doing in the future.
But since i've been living with hayleigh, I read this book she has called tweak. It's basically about this guy who throughout his life tries every single drug out there, and gets addicted and ends up living on the street, and his story of how he gets through it, and all the rehab/treatment centers he goes through, and how much of a struggle it is to stay sober.
And then I found out this sunday that one of the ladys in hayleighs ward works in a rehab center, and she told us about one time this one kid, 25 years old or so, was laying on the grass and looking up at the stars, and she talked about how he told her how he felt so lost, and worthless, and like he had nowhere to go. His parents had kicked him out, he was a musician and had a job offer to play a gig in hong kong for two weeks that would pay 16,000 dollars. The problem was that he knew if he went, he would relapse. Well basically what ended up happening was she told him he was not worthless, and that he still had time to change the way things are. And basically, that he needed to stop feeling sorry for himself and do something about it. So the next day, after he had gone to all his meetings, he came up to her and asked if he could play his guitar for her. she said of course, and as he started to play, people were drawn to the music. Pretty soon there was a crowd around them. After he finished playing, she asked him "Do you realize what you've been able to do for these people? Just by playing your guitar here, you've helped comfort all of these people." He told her how thankful he was to her for motivating him to start trying again, and giving him hope that things might actually turn out okay.
Hearing all this, and reading that book has helped me realize what I want to do with my life. I want to work in a rehab center, and be able to help all these people. I want to be the person who gives them hope again. I want to help them realize that they're never alone. I want to make a difference. How amazing would that be?? This is something I can really see myself doing, and being good at. Figuring all of this out, is truly such an exciting feeling.