the clouds in your head rain the little rain cloudy thoughts

i have a problem... i cannot choose which guitar to get. my other one, the ibanez; has a white face, with a black pick guard, and mahogany wood on the back. the ibanez had a problem with one of the frets so we took it back in to get it fixed. but while i was there, i saw a gorgeous blond telecaster electric guitar for $300. which is not bad at all. my grandpa said he would get it for me, if i wanted it. i can only get one though, so i need you guys to help me decide.

anyways, yesterday i went to the mall with katie and kristen. it was... a bit of an adventure. lol. we had to put more oil in her car, and check the water. it was pretty hilarious, we pulled into maverick, bought the oil, came back out and opened the hood of her car, and i swear like four or five guys stopped and asked us if we needed help. we just had the first guy help us with checking the water. he unscrewed this pipe looking thing with a napkin, as it shot green looking goo all over that slightly resembled (we thought) the toxic waste that got on the teenage mutant ninja turtles =p we had to be back soon cuz katie had to go to work, so we couldn't spend long at the mall. but still, it was fun. i learned more about cars, the lines on the road, exits, whats legal, whats illegal.

this week has overall been pretty fun. monday, hung out with alyse, cosette, and hayleigh. we went swimming and painted nails. oh, and we went grocery shopping. then me and alyse had a sleepover. we stayed up till about four, at which point she started rambling on about the little rain cloudy thoughts. i luff her. i think the only reason i wasn't rambling was cuz i'm still used to staying up way late. i didn't really do anything tuesday. and wednesday i just did a bunch of laundry. like, insane amounts. but i get paid, so its all good. and i also rearranged my closet in rainbow order. ha, you can tell i got pretty bored. oh! i get my warped tour ticket tomorrow! woot. and tomorrow is also the highland fling, which i will probably end up going to.

so, if the dates are all screwed up on this, its cuz i started it a while ago and am just now finishing it. well, its three in the morning. i love you all, good night.

-xann

the four letter word: l-i-f-e

Life… the state of living. Of being alive. Your life. Everyone is given a life, no matter how good, or how bad it may be you still have one. What matters is what you do with that life. Only you can determine how you will live your life. Will you live in sadness, and grief of what has happened to you? Will you live in anger, and rage of who you wish you could get back at for what they’ve done to you, hating them? Blaming them? Or will you choose to live your life being happy for what you have, seeing the beauty of everything around you. Learning to forgive and forget, “it’s just a chapter in the past; but don’t close the book, just turn the page.” Realize that no one can be perfect.

I heard a quote the other day: “life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you deal with it.” I honestly believe this is true. It really doesn’t matter what others do to you, or how life treats you. Not nearly as much as how you choose to deal with it. Whether you will:

a.) try to get revenge, or back at someone

b.) feel sorry for yourself, and think how terrible the world is

c.) learn how to overcome it, get through it and become stronger

is up to you. You decide. I’m writing this because as I read over the sentence, I realized how incredibly true it was. No one else makes our decisions for us. Only we can. Yes, we can be influenced by others, inspired by others, even led by others. But it is ultimately our decision when it comes down to it. I wish I could always choose option c. but, of course I don’t. I’ve been trying more lately, I guess just to be a better person in general…

you can try to help everyone out around you, inspire them, build them up. Make a difference in the world, no matter how small. As ghandi says “be the change you wish to see in the world.”

well, i think i'm going to hit the hay. my schedule is all messed up and i've been taking naps at random hours of the day. lol.
peace out everyone.
night.
-xann

"the goal isn't to live forever, its to create something that will." -bob marley

a change of meanings

For the past year i've loved being in alpine, because it meant being with my friends. now that i live here, and pass by the round a bout, legacy park, the peppermint place, burgess park, and everything else daily its starting to mean more than that. it means home. the change of meanings isn't exactly drastic, its just... different? to live walking distance (well, pretty much) from cosette and hayleigh is pretty rad. i get to see them a lot more, which is quite happy making. now we just have to get alyse over here all the time, or go there. i misses her. oh, and carlos of course. and when grant gets back, him too.

i cannot believe more than half the summer is gone. i don't know exactly how much of it is left since i refuse to count the days/weeks. that'll just make it go by too fast, and seem like not enough. time has a spastic way of passing i've decided. i don't want school to start, not really. i don't like always having to worry about my grades, assignments, whats due, when its due, is it done yet, what isn't due, how much of it is done, what day is it, what am i missing, why do i have a d in that class, etc. its stressful to even think about. i'm kind of excited to start ninth grade. i think. freshman year. high school, everywhere else but here. oh wells.

so far, this summer has been pretty alright. i plan to, hopefully do everything on my summer list. so far not even half is done... good thing there's still a month or so left.

well, good night i loveth you all. sweet dreams.