i don't know why its so hard for me to say when something is wrong. it just is. i think part of it is if people/a certain person is happy, i don't want to do anything to ruin that. i don't want to be the reason to take that away. so i keep it in. i don't say anything to anyone. unless i happen to be really tired or i decide fuck it, i don't care. thats really the only time i'll open up. i figure i'll get over it eventually. but even little things still hurt. maybe the reason they do is because i don't say anything about it. i act like everythings fine. and pretty much, no one ever notices. this is why facades are great.
most of the time, i just forget about those past things. and as long as i don't think about it, they don't matter. until something happens to remind me of it. then i can't get it out of my head. it sucks, but whatever. i prefer to act like everything's all good. its the way i do, i guess. its just what i'm used to.
i'm not sure if keeping quiet is better or not. but i guess we'll see.
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